THE DINNER

Figuring out how to remove all these thoughts of him from my head is harder than I believed. I realized that sometimes i can easily move past him but then there are days where my heart is a loose ornament on a tree waiting to fall on the floor. Funny thing is I tried forgetting, i tried the anger trick. I tried the kill him on site, but nothing helps.
We were invited over for a family dinner.....
Last weekend I saw him he was with his live in girlfriend. They had me sick and ready to kill not only did they look like to crack hypes, but they went into Scott's truck and stolen my tattoo books. I mean my rage was written on my face and he avoided looking at me like i had the plague. As soon as i walked into the house i didn’t acknowledge them and i went straight away to talk to Jay regarding his tattoo I had drawn up for him. I was pulling the pages out and then he reacted snatching some pages showing them to his girlfriend as if he wanted one. That’s when he spoke to me, saying "oh by the way", as if we had been having a conversation. "Her sister would like a tattoo for her 18th birthday." As he spoke to me I looked straight into his eyes with daggers like who framed roger rabbit.
"Nothing too complicated, just stars on her shoulder", So i said so it’s something I can’t mess up. Well that’s good for her. Than his partner spoke saying to not bother me and i was just walking in and just to let me relax, and that was before I realized they have gotten into Scott’s car taken one of my tattoo books. He laughed and made light of the situation but I was in rage I felt betrayed by him. His nonchalant way of taking the book acting like it was just Scott's knowing its mine pissed me off. I was surrounded by there dumb comments and there drunken slurs. They sat at the table drinking there beers working on his hair. Attempting to make his untamed Afro into dreads. He rubbed the grease and honey into his hair saying this is a tip that they took off someone.
Funny how it never dawned on him that putting honey in his hair could be a problem seeing how he is a grounds keeper and the actual amount of flies and bugs would be attracted to him. Although they really aren't the smartest couple in the bunch.
Not once as he sat there acting as if everything was OK did he speak to me. He would glance at me and that's when I'd wonder does he miss what we had? I wonder how bad does it hurt him to see me and not talk to me like before. I thought did he drive himself crazy with the thoughts of me. A flood gate that barely stays close.

By the end of the night I was ignoring his stupid self and I was reading my book. As they were leaving for the night. She came over to me to give me a kiss of death. I thought of how she told him how if she ever had to deal with me I'd regret it. Looking at her trying to play nice; acting friendly was so fake and did not convince me at all. Than she said good night as he just walked by.

All night thoughts of him hugging her, holding her. They couldn't leave fast enough for me. My anger couldn’t prepare me for that , I had made plans to come back the next day to do Jays tattoo but I had this feeling he was going to be there. All night i was so angry at him. I was so unprepared.